I have, and I just can't stop thinking about it. I had the perfect oppritunity, day after day, yet I never said anything... I never helped the cause. And now, I can't do anything about it- it's over, it's done... it's never going to happen...
And I could've taken the risk to prevent me from regretting it, like I do now. If only I'd been a big girl, none of this would be happening. I wouldn't be dwelling on the mistake I made... Well, too late for that, now.
Worse than that, not taking chances wasn't my only mistake. I've made lots of them- but I guess that's part of being human. I've been thinking a lot lately how I've made so many mistakes, whether they turned out fine in the end or not. And I keep wondering, what could I have done differently? Is there any way to reverse what's alerady occured? Unfortunately, we can't- We've just got to keep on living past our mistakes, even if it at first stings and consumes the mind.
So, I guess that's what I have to do. I have to keep on going, forgetting what's in the rearview mirror. Someone once told me that you life is like driving a car- you have to look out the windshield at all times. If you keep looking in the rearview mirror, you'll crash.
I've got to decide that I don't want to crash....
Here's a song I keep coming back to lately, and it somehow it really relates to me. Maybe they had me in mind.... :D
Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
by: Relient K
I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the Pacific and
You might think I'm losing my mind,
But I will shy away from the specifics...
'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment thatI wish that I could take back.
[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.
I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless
I got myself together,I would watch me fall apart.
And I can't let that happen again
'cause then you'll see my heartIn the saddest state it's ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.
[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]
Who I am hates who I've been
And who I am will take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I've been
'cause who I've been only ever made me...
So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.
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